Thursday.....go to meetin'

Excuse me while I adjust the mic here at the podium........testing...testing....

you there in the back row......can you hear me?........well good....then you have exactly 10 seconds to escape out the back door before I start whipping

Satan's ass right here and now!!!!!!

Hey, and don't forget to tell them out there ......there's more where that came from!!!!!!

The rest of you listen up and listen up good.......there's a whole world of folks out there that are getting all of "OUR" dirty laundry dumped on them and its leaving a bad taste in their mouths.....and I'm not just talking about the Catholic church here....every denominations got some "stanky" drawers that need a good bleaching.

You there, yes you....the one with the "whatchu talkin bout Willis?" look on your face. If I wasn't standing on this podium, I could swear I was looking at myself. You remind me of me......without the checkered polyester jacket. I'll be brief cause it ain't my Thursday to preach and I think I hear thunder outside so there's no since pushing the envelope.

All those folks who are hearing this and have actually never have had anyone in their lives share the word of God with them are the ones to consider......they only hear about the negative reasons folks attend church.....and believe me I've heard it from several people, all ages, all walks of life.......and hold on to your hallos....but there have been times in my life when I have "dissed" us with the best of them......which makes ME a hypocrite. I've also been a Pharisee, and looked down my fat nose at how some of the others of us do church. So I guess you could say I've been a bad sheep in His flock more times than I can count. So when I hear the all too familiar sound of the "blasphemous gas"being passed regarding the stinch of organized religion.........I can't help but wonder......how much of what they are saying is possibly the echo of one I "cut" myself.

You there, you are looking at me like you don't know me........chances are ya don't.....cause even though I am a member of this body, I make myself scarce........ain't something I'm ashamed of.....but it ain't something I'm proud of neither.......just sometimes I need to work things out and just cause I'm not sitting on a church pew doesn't mean that I am not getting worked on either. So remember just cause folks ain't sitting in church , doesn't make them any less loved by the Lord. Don't misunderstand me......there ain't nothing better than sitting on a pew, truly communing with God.......its better than catching a wave, better than any buzz you can imagine. Its when I go looking for anything other than the Lord that I mess up. I start thinking church is a place to twist and shape and make into my own image then it gets all stanky and well........folks can't be expected to accept that.

So, in closing let me say this.

If you have never been to church......don't let a few old farts real or imagined keep you out. If you have been to church and got turned off by what you saw, or heard, felt, or "smelt".....please consider going back......God is still there and he diggs it when you come to see him at his house. He always has something good to feed your soul if you are open to it.......

Well, gotta run .........hey, scuse me......slap that guy next to ya.....yeh, him.....there.."Wake up sweetie, we're done here."